Goodness! Parenting is the hardest job that I have ever had ...... and it doesn't pay a penny! I know what I'm supposed to type next is, but it pays in many other more rewarding ways - right? Lately, it hasn't felt that way. Lately, it's felt like a never ending exhausting uphill run. And it leaves me exhausted and wanting to just crash into bed at night with HGTV on and relax!
Isn't it ironic that the very thing I need God MOST for (being a good Mom), I can push him aside the most when it's exhausting and tiring. When I need Him to fill me with patience, grace, mercy, and never ending Love, those are the times that I don't turn to Him for it. Thank goodness He's not the same parent I am :)
Seeking God today!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Awakenings
I have gone thru a season in my life that's been dull. Every morning feels like a cloudy, rainy day instead of warm sunshiney day. I have been trudging along, just surviving life trying to be a support to my husband and EVERYTHING to my 4 kids. No passion, no emotion (except anger, man why can't I shake that one?), no joy.
It's been lonely at times. My hubby and I haven't really connected in some time. My friends have been sick or schedules within our own families does not allow us to get together.
But this past week, I feel an awakening in my soul! For whatever reason (maybe because I don't listen well or because the stage of life I'm in keeps me busy constantly), God usually speaks to me thru others words - blogs, podcasts, books, etc. I'll hear a podcast, or read a blog and feel God's presence, drawing me in, telling me, "I've missed you, come back to ME! Spend time with ME!" And I'll remember what an amazing God I serve. I'll remember that time with HIM is priceless. It's life-giving! How quickly I forget how much I need HIM.
I'm glad He's reminding me this week that He's still there. That He still loves me. He's reminding me how desperately I need HIM.
It sure makes life a lot more meaningful :)
It's been lonely at times. My hubby and I haven't really connected in some time. My friends have been sick or schedules within our own families does not allow us to get together.
But this past week, I feel an awakening in my soul! For whatever reason (maybe because I don't listen well or because the stage of life I'm in keeps me busy constantly), God usually speaks to me thru others words - blogs, podcasts, books, etc. I'll hear a podcast, or read a blog and feel God's presence, drawing me in, telling me, "I've missed you, come back to ME! Spend time with ME!" And I'll remember what an amazing God I serve. I'll remember that time with HIM is priceless. It's life-giving! How quickly I forget how much I need HIM.
I'm glad He's reminding me this week that He's still there. That He still loves me. He's reminding me how desperately I need HIM.
It sure makes life a lot more meaningful :)
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Peace
We have the most amazing backyard. It is full of life - deer, turkeys, hawks, owls, every kind of bird you can imagine. A cat wonders thru occasionally. It is just what I need after a busy day - to sit outside on our back deck and just be at peace.
It is where I hear from God. He is always there. It is me who does not always slow down enough to feel His Prescence and listen to Him.
At church this morning, my husband read Matthew 6:6 (Message version) - Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
I'm so grateful that I have that space in the back yard where I can do this. It's so true, I sense His grace every time I slow down, find that quiet place and just be there as honestly as I can. Sometimes it feels really heavy, burdened with the days events. Sometimes it feels sad, sometimes elated, sometimes angry.
Last night, it just WAS. There were no words, but He was there. There were no overwhelming feelings (except peace), just Him. It was as if we just sat and watched the evening activities of all the wildlife in the backyard. It was amazing!
I am so grateful for that peace today!
It is where I hear from God. He is always there. It is me who does not always slow down enough to feel His Prescence and listen to Him.
At church this morning, my husband read Matthew 6:6 (Message version) - Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
I'm so grateful that I have that space in the back yard where I can do this. It's so true, I sense His grace every time I slow down, find that quiet place and just be there as honestly as I can. Sometimes it feels really heavy, burdened with the days events. Sometimes it feels sad, sometimes elated, sometimes angry.
Last night, it just WAS. There were no words, but He was there. There were no overwhelming feelings (except peace), just Him. It was as if we just sat and watched the evening activities of all the wildlife in the backyard. It was amazing!
I am so grateful for that peace today!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Clutch
This morning, I went for a run. Running is a stress reliever for me and a rarity b/c I can only go when all the kids are in school, 2 days per week. I went out to the park where my son played soccer. And it was a beautiful morning, not too cold and the scenery was just cool! At first I was the only one there. Then another woman came and started to walk the same track I was, only going the opposite way as me. So we’d pass each other quite a few times.
One of the last times I passed by her, I saw she was holding something. Maybe it was something about her body language or demeanor, because it seemed to me that she was clutching pepper spray or something like that! As I got closer, I could see it was a pack of cigarettes. She wasn’t smoking, just holding the pack; but there was something about the way she held onto it, like it would protect her somehow.
I
t caught me off guard. For some reason, my mind went to, what am I holding that might protect me? I had my iPod, that’s it. The next place my mind went was…. what things do I clutch so tightly for my security?
So many times, I clutch things that I think will give me security. I wish I could say that every time I feel insecure, I grab my Bible, or some Godly thing like that. Truth be told, I don’t. There are times, I’m just grasping at the air, hoping to grab onto something that might provide temporary security. Most days, the things I clutch are those things I can tangibly see – people, things, money. Those are the easiest things to hold onto for security.
This morning, God used “a clutch” to reminded me that only He can provide me with security. He also reminded me that I hold on too tight. I’ll have to work on that one :)
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